and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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