the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
