Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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