physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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