The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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