Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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