your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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