Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
