He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
