I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
