It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
