OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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