Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
