i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
