he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
