Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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