I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I want a musical about memes.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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