the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
