Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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