I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
