I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
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