That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
