Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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