I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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