The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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