I can't breathe out the right side of my face
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
