The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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