Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
