I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You are the jesus of drinking
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
