I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
