never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
