So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
