Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
