what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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