i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
