He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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