you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
