It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
