I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
