FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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