are you so shy because you have an std?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
