he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
