Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Randomize
