is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
