One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
