well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
