Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
