your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
