i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
