Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
