Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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