You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Randomize
