Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
